To Share or Not to Share on Social Media

Doesn’t it annoy you sometimes to see everyone’s crap out there?

But then the weird thing is that you kinda get pulled into it. Even when you don’t want to.

But what happens when you’re the one feeding the social media cravings?

You’re posting and then over post.

When is it time to hold back and does anyone really care what the heck you’re doing today?

Why are we so drawn to checking up on other people’s lives? I often wonder this.

I hate social media sometimes. I have to be careful I don’t fall into the comparison game that seems to capture quite a bunch of people.

Should I share or not?

Sometimes I want to share because I want the hearts and likes but then I feel rejected or not as amazing if I get a few likes.

Yuck that’s awful! Right?

Then I feel like withdrawing, not sharing anything about my life and never let anyone know what I’m doing.

but you know what? There’s such a sense of freedom when i think of just disappearing from social media.

I actually stopped following a lot of the travel people on Instagram because it wasn’t giving me the right kind of “feels” anymore. And don’t get me wrong it is amazing to travel – we’ve been full time traveling for two years now.

It’s just that it doesn’t benefit me to see where in the world they are and what they’re doing.

And what are they doing it for? Social media?

I remember reading a blog post where a question was posed “If there was no social media would people even travel so much or go on those humanitarian trips to help the needy?)

Ouch!

Wow – that is something for all of us to think on; I actually have.

Since before Christmas I stopped posting so much about my time in Mexico and made the choice to not extend our time just to stay at the beach for a month.

Why?

Because I asked myself that question and answered truthfully. Is it so my friends on Facebook or instagram think I live a cool life?

What relief I felt when I chose to not go and to actually live life outside of posting on social media.

Yea that question was very provoking. I took it to heart and tossed it around and realized that a lot of what I’ve been doing is to “show off” a bit.

I want people to see that I am doing something amazing but I’m sure most of them don’t even care.

All in all it feels good to disappear from social media for a while.

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Love Your Enemies

Dang it!

It can be so hard to love your enemies, especially when they seem so unjust.

Since living in Mexico these past few months we have been renting a home from a local property management company not Airbnb or HomeAway which we’ve always rented through.

Advice: Don’t ever rent outside of a legitimate vacation home rentals company unless it’s in the US.

It’s been one thing after another with our current living situation. It’s funny because I had told my husband I wanted to experience the local life of Mexico and that my friend we have in so many ways. The good and the bad.

So issues we’ve had:

    No internet for two weeks – (Starbucks became our best friend)
    We have had a washer placed in our house but it came broken. The property manager literally said she was buying herself a new one and she was giving us her old one. I thought she was joking but she was actually telling the truth!! 😮 it took the the repairman several days for him to finally come fix it so I had to wash clothes for our crew of 8 peeps by hand.
  • Not dreamy – even though it sounds somewhat dreamy to hang clothes on the line on a beautiful terrace in Mexico overlooking the Authentic city. It’s gets old.
  • Finally the washer was fixed but now only washes small loads. So now I do laundry all day, every day. 😖

    I dream of washers and dryers. And actually could use a laundry service but don’t have that luxury right now even though I’ve heard it’s cheap.

    Ok enough of the laundry issues. Next…

    • She is now blaming my kids for a broken door which was already cracked.
    • We moved in with only a few dishes, blankets and no towels. (Do you understand “lady” that we only packed carry ons and didn’t bring towels and blankets.) we had to buy towels, and dishes. We’ve only been in Mexico 2 months but feels like a months and months.
    • We paid her 2 deposits (one supposedly for the washer – that broke again and I’ve been without one for three days already! )
    • The two deposits are not for the last months rent which I assumed it was and what she meant but nah. We have to pay our last months rent which is January (hallelujah we’re leaving the house Feb 1st)

    So I was furious last night as I was messaging her about the freakin washer and last months rent. I was so mad I felt my blood pressure rise and had a head ache 😖

    I realized how I was sending all this negative energy up and in me that I hated it. I’m not this person. I’m actually a person who is a peacemaker and is very unsettled when things get bad – That’s all I think about.

    After letting it bother me until bedtime, I quietly told myself I am not that person and I will bless my enemy and send positive energy towards her and the situation. I fell asleep thinking and breathing in peace.

    This morning my husband and I were talking about our money situation and realized that if I had thousands of dollars in our bank account I wouldn’t have been so overworked about the deposits etc… or even the washer.

    We both decided that we wanted to just let her keep the deposits as a way of saying we don’t ever, ever need to fight over money – with anyone!! Period!

    I woke up this morning with this scripture on my notifications:

    But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.”

    ‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:35‬ ‭

    This came to my memory as I talked it over with my husband and after we decided to just give her the deposits, something just lifted and I actually felt love for her. It felt so good to give and not fight about money.

    I picture myself as that person that doesn’t lack but gives and I want to be her right now even when I don’t have thousands in my account!!

    This 2019 will be all about gift giving and peaceful abundant living!!

    One Day We’ll Be Rich.

    One day soon I hope.

    How do I begin…well it feels crappy when we have negative money in our bank account while sitting in the middle of Mexico wondering when our paycheck will arrive so we can buy food.

    I honestly got a glimpse of what it’s like to be a poor Mexican. You can see the poverty in their eyes. They walk down the street with sad eyes without much hope for the future. They have no curiosity and barely smile as you walk by. Heads held down.

    They do have homes, tortillas to eat and have to wash clothes by hand. They walk to their jobs to clean the homes of the wealthier living in downtown. But I see it in their faces…all they can think about is survival. Because they dont see much opportunity around them.

    I can somewhat relate. We have never really had much in savings. We’ve always lived pay check to check with a couple times taking out welfare. We’ve always just survived and we always make it.

    These last 2 years we’ve been traveling full time and it’s been enjoyable with what we could do living pay check to pay check. And I don’t regret us doing this because we have memories to carry on with us into the future.

    Yes…living pay check to pay check is something I don’t want to do anymore. I’ve been listening to and reading materials on the law of attraction and how our energy can push away money that is suppose belong to us. Sometimes our own belief about money deflects it. I don’t completely understand other than I do believe God does want good for all His creation and that there is so much about the universe and our minds that we don’t completely understand.

    All I can do is stay positive, especially now…

    My husband has decided that he wants to leave his current company. He works as an independent contractor selling the service the company provides so you can say that he’s basically running his own business but with limitations. And that’s what really bothers him.

    He knows that he can do his own thing and start his very own business. He’s always been an entrepreneur at heart. So have I…so I support this move. But it’s so hard when we don’t know the future of what it will produce.

    We’ve actually had two business in the past that we “tried” but they both failed. Maybe the third will be the charm??

    We do hope that we’ll double our current income in 2019, no longer living pay check to pay check, and in our future to never know lack again.

    The Disappearing Act

    Hello, hello again.

    I’ve been off site for about a year. Not sure what kept me away. I guess I just didn’t have anything much to share but negative things but heck this is the space to vent and share some of my ups and downs of life.

    I guess I’m not sure where to take this blog? I like being anonymous but sometimes I just want to share who I am. Not that I’m famous or anything – nope not at all!!

    I don’t have many friends. I’m just a stay at home mom who has come to appreciate my role in this life. It feels good to embrace motherhood and homemaking. That’s for another day, another post.

    We’ve been traveling again this year since thats what we do full time. But but … soon to settle down a bit. Yep.

    I’ve realized that I don’t really want to continue full time travel like we have done. Should I dare say that it’s been a little blah lately. Not as exciting as it once was. It’s been tough on some of the kids and don’t want to fight it.

    Not gonna lie, heck yeah, it’s been fun but time to find “home” again after two years of being “homeless”.

    So yes, I am ready to get a house again and fill up with things. I think the homemaking/interior designer bug has bit me.

    And that’s for another post. Another day.

    We considered settling last year around this time but realized we weren’t ready to buy furniture and so soon. And I wanted to travel abroad. We had only been traveling 10 months.

    And just to give you a quick update – we finally left the US this year and arrived into Mexico. Been here a bit but honestly haven’t enjoyed myself like I thought I would. We are living amongst the locals and I miss American conveniences (like a clothes dryer and my vehicle) so very much and the food here is so so. Call me a baby but yeah it’s been tough living abroad.

    I’m not cut out to adjusting to foreign ways. I guess I’m old and set in my ways? I’ve realized that if we do live abroad again we’d stay a shorter amount of time, like 4-6 weeks.

    Mexico became boring after 2 weeks. And having little spending money doesn’t help. And that’s for another blog post and another day.

    Dang it why am I complaining. I’m probably going to miss Mexico after we leave in a few months.

    And before we go, I really want to see the beach. Oh yeah we’re not at a beach we’re in a smallish city near Mexico City. Very quaint indeed.

    I guess I’m just missing “home”.

    A jumbled mess

    Sometimes I can’t understand what I’m feeling. I can’t even put it to words. It’s a jumbled mess in my mind.

    I can’t necessarily see the picture. I can’t grasp the concept I can’t make out the lines.

    I pull away. But I want to understand. I really do.

    Maybe writing it out might help. Maybe not? Just thinking a little. Just relax my mind so I can see more clearly. Help me see the next step.

    What’s Wrong With Me?

    Sometimes life seems simple and I have a great routine down. Things are going well. I feel mentally alert and feel sharp. But then there are days like today when I feel like escaping to a far away island or into the middle of the mountains.

    A place really where all connection is cut and where there’s only the blue sky and sand or blue sky and snow around me.

    That’s my idea of living simply and getting away . A place where I’m off the grid and no one can find me (well other than my husband and children – yes they would be with me) but no one else. No friend new and old, no social media peeps, no one. I would be out there in the world just staying to myself.

    Well – as I stop to think I’ve been somewhat living this way since leaving my home months ago – The place I called home for 20 plus years. We sold it all and left to travel the world. We haven’t traveled into the world yet. We’re still in the good ole US of A. I love it though.

    The weird thing is that I don’t want to make connections. I’ve made a few new friends but mostly through my husband. He’s the extrovert. He loves meeting new people and oddly enough I did once upon a time.

    What’s wrong with me?

    I do speak to family and friends on the phone on occasion. But they’re quick phone calls. I sometimes go on Facebook or Instagram to see what others are doing but I feel like that’s such a waste of my time.

    I hate social media sometimes. I don’t mind posting things about my life but sometimes looking through others crap bothers me. Not sure what it is. I guess I’m like – why do I need to know what so and so is doing or how they’ve done that or whatever? I kick myself when I’ve wasted more than a few minutes looking through everyone’s crap.

    What’s wrong with me?

    Is it jealousy? Or comparison? Or what? Honestly I feel sometimes my own kids feel the same especially my daughters. They feel like others have such a better life even when in reality my daughters are doing great things. Why would they compare themselves to another girl going from party to party? I guess I do the same but compare to things. Then I get mad because I’m comparing myself!

    What’s wrong with me?

    I’m going to try to change. Hey back into a routine and find me for who I am. Stop trying to be someone else.

    Typing out my thoughts helps a lot.

    What a Feeling!

    I usually come on here and write when I’m feeling like crap.

    When I feel like a piece of crap.

    Like there is nothing good in me or my life. But I’ve changed a little this week

    Not sure if the good hormones have miraculously pressed the happy button in my mind and heart

    Or

    Answer to prayers that I cried out to God that I’d feel happier. And I want to feel Happy ALL. THE. TIME. please God make it so!

    Or

    The St Johns Wort capsule I’ve been taking lately.

    Or

    I’ve been going out for walks which sometimes turns into jogging for about 45 minutes when my fat but is feeling stronger.

    So what is it. Maybe a mix of all of it?

    Anyway – yes I’ve been feeling so good lately. Ok maybe not SO good but way better. And in my prayers I’ve been saying to God. “I want to stay feeling like this because I don’t want to feel so empty.”

    Now I need to ask him to boost my libido. That’s always been a battle.

    Maybe there’s an herb I can take? What’s that Horny Goat crap I’ve seen on shelves at the health food store? Maybe I should get that?

    Oh and I’ve also made a point to get some things done around the house so I don’t feel so circular and actually make some sort of progress.

    There’s so much more I need to get in order.

    Yeah…I see it happening.